Couples generally have no major
problem talking about daily business – what should we do for dinner, who’s
picking up the kids, let’s make weekend plans. That’s good. People need to
communicate about what’s going on in their daily life.
However, over time, it is not
uncommon for one partner to feel pressured by the quality of their
communication. Often, though not always, it is the woman who complains that she
wants deeper communication. And people who find themselves in a defensive
“We need to talk,” it
may seem like a simple statement to women, but it’s not. Specifically, if her
husband hears, “What am I doing wrong now?” Or, “What makes you
upset now?” Trying to get away from the dressing, he might respond,
“later.” Which might be fine if you ever come. But usually not. After
all, not of his own volition.
Initially, he may believe that
“later” has helped him escape a confrontation, but after awhile he
realizes, it hasn’t. For she still needs to talk. And if he doesn’t give her a
chance to do so, she’ll be stewing.
What does she want? She may want
him to be more involved with the responsibilities of home or child care. Or,
she may want him to be more involved in her life. She may be weary of the
mundane talk that’s the core of their discourse and be yearning for intimate
conversations like those that used to take place in the days of courtship. It’s
typical for a woman to keep trying to improve the relationship with her
partner. But she may go about it in ways that are not particularly productive.
What might she do differently? Here are a few suggestions:
Begin with the Positive
It’s so easy to begin a discourse
with the negative. …
Many women enter marriages with
the idea that they can change their husbands into the man of their dreams as
soon as they are wedded. But the more they try to execute their assumed changes
the more frustrated they become. And if they continuously attempt to change
their husbands’ life style, they end up causing more harm than the harmony they
For women to realize harmony in
their marriage, they should understand that they could merely be wasting their
efforts if they are continuously trying to make their husbands see things the
same way as they do. The truth remains that there are some inherent differences
in the life style of males and females right from origin.
Consequently, men’s behavioral
patterns in terms of reasoning, action and understanding differs in some ways.
This difference produces and controls the distinctiveness of every marriage. To
this effect, my candid marriage advice to every woman is to bend down and study
your husband so that you will be able to predict his footsteps even his next
action. This you will not just achieve in a few months, no! It takes years of
practice to know when to be there for your him, and when to back off. Men could
be desiring your attention at one moment, and afterwards, they can be so
resolute on having their own way subsequently.
To be on the safer side, women
should constantly be aware of their husbands’ own battles of wanting to be in
control, and at the same time desiring to feel the gentle the comfort of your
touch. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. It is in fact, one of the major
causes of stress in a woman’s life. In married life, comes the responsibility
of caring for your husband, yourself, and …